ponte-vanima replied to your post “things that suck: days where you more acutely than usual feel the…”
what does “amatonormative” mean?
in terms of simple definitions, it’s basically just the attitude society has that romantic relationships are more important/valuable/real than other types of relationships (especially those that aren’t close family). that’s putting it simply, heh; it spirals out quite rapidly into something of a smog laying over a lot of different interpersonal, media, structural/institutional, etc. dynamics in a ton of subtle forms that would require a good long essay to cover. it’s also something that helps comprise or is leveraged by other types of normative and/or oppressive dynamics (like heterosexism) to enforce said oppression.
for a shortlist of examples of what kinds of things people are referring to:
- stating/insinuating/acting according to the notion that having a romantic partner or being romantically desirable is (globally) an important goal and lacking in either is a defect or problem that should be changed
- the trope/belief that not being interested in romantic relationships makes you immature, unemotional/cold, less human, etc. (pick one or more)
- the presumption that one’s friends are less important, shallower relationships, etc. compared to one’s romantic partner; relatedly, that if two people could have a romantic relationship, that is the more desired or assumed state of affairs than them not doing so
- language like “in a relationship” meaning “in a romantic relationship”, “liking someone (like liking someone)” meaning “being romantically interested in them”, etc.
- legal institutions that tie various benefits and privileges and general life-smoothing procedures for people who have close relationships with each other, to societal institutions strongly associated with romantic relationships