hmm… the jealousy part could be “trained” like you describe. I get the same thing, where I just want a relationship. even though I know that to get there everyone would need to invest a lot of time.
I guess it’s just if you feel that it fits. you say your past crushes were kinda lithromantic? maybe that’s just what you are?
in todays society and media we constantly get presented with the mind-set that we’re somehow not complete without a romantic (and sexual) partner. and that the closeness we “need” can only come from a romantic partner.
both of those are wrong. first of all no one “needs” anyone else to be complete. you’re a whole person. if you’re together with someone that just makes you two whole people in a relationship.
the second one that the kind of companionship and closeness that we should all strive to achieve can only be romantic is bullshit as well. You can have closeness and companionship with your family, your friends, your pets, the internet (probably not the internet. people on the internet)
it’s difficult to unlearn what we got told all of our lives (I struggle with that as well) but it’s good if you know on a conscious level, so that you catch yourself thinking that you “need” someone you can say “stop. that’s not true. stupid society” and can go on your way and be the happy, graceful lithromantic darling that you are.
Anon, as long as everybody is on the same page with what they want, and nobody is being decieved, you are not a bad person for wanting a sexual relationship and nothing else (health and safety risks involved notwithstanding, but of course that pretty much goes with everything) :)
I’m sure you’re not the only one who has felt that way anon. But try not to be upset. Despite what others may tell you, your happiness is important, so don’t feel that you ‘need’ to love somebody.
From what you’ve said, I get the impression that that potentially you do want to be in a romantic relationship (or at the very least, still have relationships that are important to you regardless or romance), but don’t have the desire for those relationships with the people that you know at the moment . Who knows? You may find such a person in the future. Maybe you won’t. But like I said, either is fine, it’s your life and happiness
If you think the term feels right for you, anon, then I say yes. Romantic attraction is a very complicated thing, which is why there are many who, like you, because they can’t really say whether they have felt romantic attraction or are certain of their orientation either
Hmm.. what you’re describing sounds a lot like someone who is lithromantic (Lithromantic - naturally experiencing romantic love without desire for reciprocation) . Is that a term you are familliar with? There is a blog about it, so I would recommended giving it a read and seeing what you think.
Anon, the most important thing is that finding your identity brought you peace and happiness. Your experience is yours, and there are people out there that are not going to take your orientation seriously regardless, but that doesn’t make your identity any less valid, so please don’t feel like you are hurting other aromantics by identyfing as aromantic. you are not.
Not quite sure what you mean by ‘and things’ anon, but you may still identify as aromantic and still enjoy sex. Contrary to popular belief, sex isn’t a inherent component of romance, romantic attraction or romantic relationships
I would say potentially: Fantasizing and imagining yourself being in a romantic relationship doesn’t disqualify you from being aromantic, particulalry if, as you say, the reasons behind your deisre stem from, I guess, curiosity and the experience iteself, not because you were romantically attracted to someone
I would say yes. Though they may not feel romantic attraction, there are many aromantics I imagine, that would enjoy being in a romantic relationship and enjoy ‘romantic’ things such as recieving gifts etc :)
aromantic valentines fuck yeah
Thank you anon :D
First off, anon.. It’s alright to be confused. You are definetely not the only one who has come across confusion about their feelings. I have, and so have many other people :)
From what you said, does that mean that you could imagine yourself physically at a place having dinner with someone, or being with someone, but mentally you would be rather.. distant? Because that is actually something that probably isn’t all that uncommon?
Not that it is excately the same scenario.. But this is something that I have experienced whenever I (when I was little) was required to wear a really pretty dress.. Whenever somebody would give me a compliment on how nice or beautiful I looked I would be like.. yeah, my mind’s not here.. and I guess in my mind, I would be somewhere else. I suppose it was my escape mechanism of sorts, because for whatever reason recieving compliments on my appearance like that always (and still does I guess) make me uncomfortable. Does that make sense?
and If you feel that you are too young.. that’s ok too. You should probably know though, that even people much older also say they don’t undestand their oreintation as well. You’re (as am I and, well, everyone else) are always going to be in a constant state of learning.. so don’t let your rerception of ingorance daunt you :)
Regardless of your age, anon, you should do and be what feels most comfortable to you.. and if that means not engaging in a romantic relationship, then so be it :)
I say if you don’t experience crushes or have the feeling of ‘being in love’ then there is a good chance that you are aromantic. Perhaps it would change and maybe in the future you will want to be in a romantic relationship, perhaps it won’t.. But like I said before, do what makes you the happiest. Besides which, life is far too short waiting on something which may or may not happen, so I say focus on what you know makes you happy
I hope that helps :)
From what you’ve described, anon, yes. If you don’t believe you experience romantic attraction, then aromantic would fit, and pansexual if you experience sexual attraction regardless of gender
Thank you for telling me about your experience, anon. Use whatever label makes you the most comfortable :)