It is possible that you are indeed asexual as well as aromantic, since asexuality is the lack of sexual attraction, and not dependent on whether you watch porn

There are lots of tumblr places to look at if you want to ask other people for advice, such as

http://asexualadvice.tumblr.com/

http://asexualityexists.tumblr.com/

To name a few :)

Here is a quote regarding the history behind the flag’s creation. I don’t’ think they mention dermiromantics, but I see no reason why demiromantic people can’t use it :)

[IMAGE: Black text on orange background]

[TEXT:I usually, or once every blue moon (and blue it is indeed) I feel guilty over missing my ex-girlfriend, because I don’t miss her. The thing is that sometimes I just want to have someone for myself in a non romantic, non sexual way and not even in a exclusive way, I just want to have free reign to touch somebody else, And yes I know most people like cuddles, but I’m not your overly cuddly person, not just with anyone. So even if I voiced my want for hug to the over all population, well I’m specific with whom can or not touch me freely (the number is less than five) . So there I lie craving touch. Sometimes this all temtps me to court people and I always decide against it because well, not many seem to be looking the kind of relationship I want; which pretty much would be a primary platonic open relationship (becuase I don’t think I would be able to hadle an exclusive relationship ever). And then I find myself missing the simplicity of something I don’t really want with things I can’t really give.

.]

See his/her response below :)

It’s not a term I am familiar with, but even if the term hasn’t been coined before, that doesn’t negate your expediences, so if the term helps you understand yourself better, why not use it? :)

If I get it, grey- demiromantiscm would be something like experiencing romantic attraction to people after you have developed a strong friendship with them, and perhaps your romantic attraction is not as strong as what you think is typical? Or something along those lines

Any followers want to chip in on this?

No problem :)

Absolutely! I think most people want to be with others that they are on the same wavelength as, at the very least I do. and even if people don’t feel it necessary to connect with other aros/ace aros, for most it is only a part of who they are, and so most people will want to connect in other ways. For example, people will want to connect because they love a particular sport, or art, academically, etc.

I disagree with your friend, because I for one believe it deserves a lot of discussion. I know I have heard other people have said ‘what’s to talk about?” but particularly when it comes to romantic attraction, it is very likely going to influence how we interact (and how we wish to interact) with others

totallyace:

Here’s a blog especially for aromantics! Not necessarily asexual aromantics, but aromantics.

thearomantic.wordpress.com

Thank you :) , I’m sure there are others who will really appreciate you lending your ear and experience as a sexual aromantic :)

Thank you for your input anon! It must have been really frustrating, but I am glad your friends understood :)

This.. is probably the first time that I have heard cuddling referred to as sex O_0.

But you are correct in that people are by and large misinformed. Just out of curiosity, is there are reason why they would be of the opinion that you don’t want a relationship? Is that their first thought when you try to explain that you are asexual?

I think a great starting point is to try and explain that the term ‘relationship’ is actually alot broader than what mainstream media and society would like to believe.. and itdoes not automatically (or it shouldn’t) mean a sexual or a romantic relationship 

It would also help if you try to explain that everybody is different, and so people have different desires when it comes to how they feel and how they wish to interact with other people

Do my followers have any other suggestions? :)

totallyace:

The thing about asexuality- there’s no one way to be ace. You can be demi-sexual, gray-a (if you’re British), grey-a(if you’re American) and possibly all shades of Gray/Grey/Grau. You can still develop feelings for other people- in the romantic sense, if not in the nether regions.

Or, like me, you could be aromantic. Which is tough, because aromantics are a little more uncommon- or at least a little less talked about online.

http://arosecret.tumblr.com/ has a lot of great resources- and answers questions. There’s a facebook group, which advises the following links.

http://www.aromantic.org/

http://aromanticaardvark.tumblr.com

The last link on the list given is http://aromanticsanonymous.tumblr.com/, and although now inactive, there might be something there in the archive for you.

Hope this was helpful

It must be incredibly frustrating, but in my opinion its not so much that the asexual community ‘owns’  aromanticism so much that the aseuxal community is one of the few places where sexual and romantic orientations are separated. Again, I can understand your frustrating, however, since sexual aromantics are a minority within a minority. You may have heard aromantic asexual voice a similar frustration?

But I digress.. I’m not quite sure what advice you are looking for, whether that be handling the stereotypes that sexual aromantics face, or seeking the relationships (of whatever nature) that you desire, but there are are few blogs out there.. I have posted links before, but I see no reason to post them again :)

http://sexyaros.tumblr.com/

http://aromanticnation.livejournal.com/305.html#aromanticnation305

I think the most important advice I can give is, as hard as mainstream society may make it, is to not feel bad for being yourself. So you happen to experience sexual attraction without romantic attraction. If who you are and what you do doesn’t hurt anyone, what is the problem? It doesn’t make you heartless or any other negative stereotype that you have have come across

Ahh. Yes.. I have to admit, this is something which I’ve often wondered myself. It’s one thing to come to the understanding that behaviors such as kissing/giving gifts doesn’t need to be inherently romantic..and I think someone who studied culture/history will probably tell you that the conception of romance as we know it in Western culture is actually a relatively recent phenomenon…but that leaves the question/s What is romantic? and what the heck is romantic attraction anyway?

Unfortunately I don’t really have a good solid answer for that, the problem is, is that people have different ideas as to what constitutes romantic attraction.

  Like I’ve said before, I’ve personally struggled with this and have come to the realization that despite behaviors not necessarily dictating identity/orientation…  the fact of the matter is is that for me, at least, the desire (or lack) to perform certain behaviors is a concept a lot easier for me to comprehend and get my head around.

I do have a LINK to a blog post which has attempted to answer this question, however.

Here’s another titled For those struggling with the concept of romantic attraction

If any followers like to chip in their 2 cents feel free :)